Being trolled 

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Evening folks.

Since I decided to talk openly about my mental health battles I’ve been flooded with comments and contacts. (https://whatsadaddyfor.blog/2017/08/12/the-dark-part-1/)

That’s great. That’s why I did it. 

Some of the stories people have told me have been heartbreaking. They have all been inspirational.

It’s taken some time but I’ve worked my way through every single person who has reached out and responded to you all.

I believe I’ve made many new friends and rediscovered a few I’d lost along the way.

But part of having any open discussion is recognising that not all people are going to agree with you.

That’s fine. I want to hear all views in this discussion.

Today I received a missive from a new correspondent. He called himself Sean.

I’ve reproduced it here exactly as I received it.

i AM SICK AND TIRED OF SUPPOSEDLY GROWN MEN LIKE YOURSELF COMPLAINING ABOUT HAVING TOUGH TIMES. YOU DO NOT HAVE A MENTAL ILLNESS. HOW DARE YOU LESSEN SUCH A SICKNESS WITH YOUR PETTY COMPLAINTS ABOUT WHAT EVERY ADULT GOES THROUGH.

TOUGHEN UP YOU SILLY DRAMA QUEEN, SNOWFLAKE. THE WORLD OWES YOU NOTHING. 

WALK IN THE AVERAGE MAN’S SHOES YOU LITTLE SNOWFLAKE.
So there you are.

I had a number of thoughts when I read this.

First I’m always on the lookout for a new nickname and I quite like Snowflake.

Every snowflake is delicate, beautiful and utterly individual.

Hell, I’ve been called a lot worse.

My next thought is, does Sean have a point?

He says I don’t have a mental illness but I’m just dealing with what every adult goes through.

This is exactly the thought I’ve been wrestling with for decades.

It’s the main reason I didn’t come forward to get help sooner.

It’s essentially the same response I got when I went to see a doctor in my teens.

As I said before, part of starting the debate is accepting there’s a different viewpoint.

And leaving aside Sean’s invective and obvious desire to hurt me, he represents a view that is very common.

But more than any other message I have received, this one convinces me I did the right thing in speaking out.

There is so much that is still to be understood. So many still to be persuaded.

Sending a message such as this, so full of obvious malice and spite, to a person who is prone to depression and tendencies of despair is desperately dangerous.

Luckily I’m in a good place and it has no power to wound me.

But imagine I’d received it when I was at my lowest. Or it gets sent to another person who is struggling.

One of the greatest responsibilities we have is over our own words and understanding the impact they can have on another.

I wish Sean all the good luck and happiness in the world.

I hope that your certainties always keep you safe from harm in this world.

Take care my friend xx 

* If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this blog or need immediate help call Lifeline on 0808 808 8000

19 thoughts on “Being trolled ”

  2. Now I must admit Snowflake, it takes all sorts to make a world but that goodness there are people like you that are willing to tell others that you can’t always go it alone. Keep up the great work and don’t like someone like him melt you x

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  3. Jonathon
    For some discussions like this go over people’s heads.
    He’s obviously hurting in some shape or form and maybe perhaps he had a family member who through something similar.
    Acceptance is the key.
    When to argue a point.
    Even when to walk away….when we talk openly it’s hard to open closed minds….or decided minds.
    Very common trait particularly in this country of ours that seldom give the space opportunity to discuss any topic in a reasoned way.
    In my life I learned more from people who disagreed with me than those who did.
    Keep writing
    Keep sharing…
    Lots of people are at different stages in their lives.
    A problem for one is a privilege for someone else.
    One person’s rags is another person gown…😉😁

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  4. Hi Snowflake 😂😂, well to be honest that’s all you can do at a comment like that. Everyone has a journey to travel and experiences to learn, weather you make use of it is a different matter. I feel sad that someone can use words this way to try and hurt someone else. We as humans are all different and that’s what we should remember. I love your blog, keeping it real. Keep writing,

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  5. It would appear to me that you ” Snowflake” are in a much better state of mind than Sean.. Who comes across as a person who could benefit from some professional help.. Take some time out Sean.. Go make a few ” Snow Angels” if you get the chance.. It may chill you out a little.. 😇

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  6. If Sean thinks that what you are going through is what everyone is dealing with then perhaps Sean needs to see someone himself. He is dealing with it by lashing out but he is likely in the same place you were before the intervention.

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  7. Well Sean can piss right off please and thank you. This matcho “boys don’t cry” attitude is incredibly 1940s and as you rightly say, potentially dangerous for ANYONE who’s experiencing mental health problems. It’s not something that you can just shake off, it’s a dark place of despair – a cruel combination of wanting desperately to get better but not having a clue how.
    Your response to Sean is admirable Jonny. I’d say you’re a proper blogger now that you’ve got your very own troll! Keep writing! And as the wise Taylor Swift once said, “haters gonna hate hate hate… I’m just gonna shake it off!!” Or something like that, obviously I don’t know the words to a cheesy pop song off by heart or anything…
    Keep up the amazing work!

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  8. Keep writing and ignore the trolls! It really astonishes me that there are people who sit behind a keyboard and clearly get off on the idea of hurting someone else for no reason at all. I’ve had a troll recently whose only comments (on all of my blog posts) are about how ugly I am (clearly this person assumes this is the most effective way to hurt my feelings. Fortunately it isn’t). It adds nothing to the conversation and just shows them up as someone who really has too much time on their hands and is clearly pretty unpleasant. Would he say it to your face? I doubt it.

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    • There are a lot of very disturbed people about. Unfortunately rather than addressing their issues they prefer to throw bike at others. There’s a time it would have bothered me. Not now

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  10. I wonder if (deep down) Sean is just as certain about life as he states. Truth be told, we’re all a little scared off it most of the time. Jonathan has just been more brave than the rest of us in telling so honestly & bravely about his struggles.

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