5 great insults

There are some things you can only say to someone you really love.

With that in mind here are my five favourite insults delivered to me by my son recently.

1 ‘Daddy, if we were all put in prison then I would escape through the bars and I’d drag mummy out too but your big, fat belly would get stuck.’

2 ‘Daddy, it will be good when you die because I really like going to graveyards.’

3 ‘Daddy, can you please not sit beside me because you smell like poo.’

4 ‘Daddy, mummy does the news on TV, why do you never do anything?’

5 Screaming during a red-faced tantrum.

‘I hate you daddy! I hate you!’

Daddy looks hurt.

‘But I love you son.’

Son looks momentarily confused. Then he yells.

‘I love you and I hate you daddy!’

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